Why is there not an international airport library? Like you join the airport library and you can pick up a book there and drop it off at another airport?
I bet it would only take like, 22 times combing my hair before I could literally make a blanket of all of it that comes off my head.
When will leg hairs evolve not to grow? Why have they not learned yet?
What the fuck is the cat doing that’s making that noise? Cats are horrible. And stupid. I can’t believe the ancient Egyptians used to worship cats. I always thought they were so smart. Well now that’s shot to hell.
I need to learn more Spanish curse words. I feel way too prim and proper here.
How much longer before the hot water runs out? How productive is this shower actually going to be? If I have to choose between shaving and washing my hair, which is it going to be? Fuck I am not equipped to make these decisions right now.
WHEN the fuck will it be possible to send smells through the phone??
I love my life. I always knew I was lucky to be born an American, but goddamn people will pay me to talk to them because my native language just happens to be a bit more valuable to know. Wow. #proudtobeanamerican
12€ per hour buys me 240 chuches per hour. Which is like, 30 bags? That would last me like, a month? This is actually useful math.
I wonder what Frank Turner sings in the shower.
Why can’t we take the Oxford comma and just start calling it a comma? Putting an adjective in front of it makes it seem superfluous and special, when really it’s important and necessary.
I am so glad this isn’t like the Swedish showers where you have to squeegee the water off the floor at the end. That really made no sense.
Dammit. Lukewarm water. Panic. Must wash hair STAT
I am so funny. I should put these on the Interwebz.